These surreal sculptures of Dragons, Horses and Beasts of unkown or long-forgotten origin are the work of neighborhood-renowned Dentist-Turned-Sculptor Robert Bleier.
Question them NOT, you should, or mired in problems you'll be! (Our apologies to Yoda and George Lucas, in that order)
Just Out of the Kiln - April 2010
Bringing Up Babies on Planet A9 (Cuz we REFUSE to do it like those jerks on Planet A10!)
Those A10 weenies birth kids via some weird bug. How stupid is that?
On A9, we unscrew our kids out of the ground!!!
Just the way All-Seer Ooogle-Boogle intended!! Hah!
And notice how much cooler our twin kids look from the side? We SCOFF at A10 kids!
A bug creature mid-wife?
Instead of flesh and unguent parents unscrewing their kids out of the ground?
as IF! I'm, like, SO SURE! whatEVER!
Notice the technique employed by the parents. You won't find this attention to detail on A10!
On A9, ALL children are hand-unscrewed. On A10, it's done by machines and bugs.
And LOOK! The twins are even COOLER looking from the OTHER side!
This twin has bug-out eyes and seems to be sticking his tongue-like facial appendage out.
Notice the look of concentration on this parent. This guy (gal?) will work his (her?) beak off making sure baby is unscrewed safely.
"A break? A caffenated beverage?" you ask? No time! We've got a kid to unscrew!
THIS twin has vapid eyes, worse hair and pursed lips. Other then that, they're identical!
Close-up of androgynous parent 1.
(or should that be 'A' 1?)
Close-up of androgynous, mohawked parent A2
Parent A2 BEFORE going in for a salon tan.
Surreal Sculptures Recently Extracted
November of 2009
Procreation on Planet A10 (You don't even want to KNOW how it happens on Planet A9!)
Click on any image below for a larger view
Yeah, that's right. Mommy's got a creature for a womb; you gotta problem with that?
Where does the baby gestate, you ask? How embarassing for you! Kids on Planet A10 learn about THAT in 2nd Grade!!!
And yes, as a matter of fact, the baby IS extracted via the belly button. But only when an emergency planetA10-section is required.
Think of it less as a pregnancy and more as a competition pitting mom against baby against creature.
Interestingly, the creature isn't just part of the womb, but also a sort of Planet A10 mid-wife. Actually, think of it as a cross between a mid-wife and a pre-natal life coach.
This particular creature was trained at Planet A10's prestigious University of WombMaster Technology,
aka "Bug Tech".
And look how CUTE Baby looks in his genuine
Louis Vitton knicker neck-tie!
Mother wears a matching neck-tie during baby extraction. Birthing is a very formal affair on Planet A10.
Your Clever Procreation-based Advertisement Here!!!
(They're even feeling
the effects of the recession on Planet A10!!!)
What, no worry wrinkles? No frown-lines? It's unfortunate that Mom felt the need to
inject botox into herself this soon after giving birth...
March 2009
Martian Dragon Giving Birth to Triplets
Take THAT, Octo-Mom!!!!
Dragon Sculpture from October 2008
The Tres Dragones!!!
("The Three Amigos" was already taken)
Fantasy Elephant Sculpture From October 2008
Rampaging Elephants recently found in the Northridge Highlands Will the San Fernando Valley never be rid of this Public Nuisance?
Surreal Close Encounter Sculpture from January 2008
Close Encounters of a Deadly Kind
(This is what happens when Penguins go for a dip alone)
Sculpture with a Decidedly Surreal Bent From August 2007
Metamorphic
(A Screamingly Shocking Dragon-Munch-Beast)
Equine-Beasts, Reclining Nudes & Multi-Headed Creatures
Dr. Bleier's sculptures have won
him neighborhood acclaim. We present some of the most well-received pieces here. Click on any
sculpture to see a larger image of it!
The October 2006 Dragon!
(This one started the Entire Dragon Craze!)
News-Flash!
Bobby's Multi-Instrumentalist Musician-Beast Sculpture is Entered in an Art Exhibit!
(Robert Bleier's April 2006 creation displayed for public-gawking during the 2007 AMOCA "Extreme Clay" Art Exhibit!)
This multi-instrumentalist Musician-Beast Sculpture is available for Weddings & Bar Mitzvahs! Book
your event early; July weekends are nearly filled!
And what's going on with this beast's back? Is that a multi-valved Hawaiian Bone-aphone?
Equine Sculptures (Equine means 'Horse' in some dead European language)
Three-Headed Rabid Equine-beast Sculpture with Pretty Collar
Mother-Daughter Equine-beast Share Love & Internal Organs
Another view of the Three-Headed Rabid Equine-beast Sculpture (with matching Leg-Face)
Multi-Headed Coffee-Table Conversation-Beasts
The Blue Period(Picasso was a panty-waist!)
Just out for the Fall Line-up of Twisted Beasts! This 2005 model reinvents the entire Bleier Dragon Line!
Be the first on your block to own this new model, the Frightening (In a somewhat Comedic Way) Mult-headed 2005 Dragon (Reverse View).
Pegasus-like Horse-Creature (with Wings!)
A Tri-Headed Cat-Like Being from another Dimension!
Dorsal View of Same Cat-Like Anti-Dimensional Being...
Hey, Rocky, Watch me Pull a Chicken's Head out of my Sculpture!
Ancient Horse with Ornate Saddle
Less Ancient Charcoal-Flavored Horse
Prelude to a 2-Headed Equine-Beast
Little 2-Headed Equine-Beast, Short & Stout
Reclining Nudes R Us(If you were nude, wouldn't you recline?)
Reclining Woman with Matching Mint Tray
Semi-Reclining Woman Near Asian Wall Print
Would it have killed this Reclining Nude to put on a bathrobe before posing?
Reefer Madness
(Was an illegal substance partly responsible for these sculptures ? You be the judge!)
Beak-Faced Bird-Dude with Minimalist Wood-Block Man-Dude
Mayan Duck-Like Creatures!! Get them OFF me!!! Get them OFF me!!!
OK, this is just, like, totally twisted, OK?
The emaciated family that purges together deteriorates outdoors together.
Anonymous Female Bust atop Out-of-Tune, Upright Piano
Man - Possibly Anonymous Woman's Dude - Ruminating on Same Upright
